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Moxie

by CITY LIMITS

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    1) Murder Diner
    2) Writing Fiction
    3) California
    4) Dig Me Out
    5) Dear John
    6) Beard in Headlights
    7) Start to Choke

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1.
California 02:58
It's cold here at the scene of the crime. I'm older but the color's just as bright. We'd lie there and waste away the days. Sleep off the sympathy. Good morning, jealousy. How's the weather in California? The same old talk gets me through. Did the one-way ticket come with too much baggage? Was the east coast too cold for you? As the voices carry down the stairs, goddamn--there's no place I'd rather be than here. You always told me that you wanted me to be myself. Well, this is me. And the last thing that you ever said before you turned your back and left, you said, "Take care of yourself." But what if I can't? I can't. So fuck the endless summer. I'll take the cold and freezing lovers. They huddle together on the shoreline waiting for the fireworks. How's the weather in California? The air here is six months stale.
2.
Dig Me Out 02:48
Gray skies could follow me, but I let them roll right off my back. I'll find new ways to hide inside the new distractions in my life. I used to be so sick of how all I've wanted would never stay. Should I take fault since I'm the only thing that's staying in one place? I'd waste another night inside my room, I'm bottled up and boring. They say to me to take it in stride when it all comes without warning. I felt the storm build up inside and my ambitions are all wrong. I'll just keep saying nothing, like I've been doing all along And now if I can figure out the best way to dig me out... I can't pay attention anymore to every single word I hear. There's far too many for me to steal and to apply to my own life to make the pieces fit all right. Am I just taking bad advice from voices I've admired? Every single book I've read is written by lonely singers that have surrendered all their time to be stuck in the same life every night. And that spoke so clearly to me, a life of monotony that I thought gave me everything I need And now if I can finally figure out the best way to dig me out, to grab on to something stronger now and move beyond all doubt.
3.
Dear John 02:15
And I can't imagine all the thoughts going through your head losing everything. For five years, you were on top of the world Enjoy the view before it all comes crashing down. Can't you read the writing on the wall? Only six months 'til the door slams shut. All your friends left you abandoned, looks like another night alone counting down 'til 300 days of tally marks and lonely nights become reality. For five years, you were on top of the world. Enjoy the view before it all comes crashing down. Sit down, John. Take a load off. You had it all, John. You had it all, and you threw it all away. Ooh. And I can't imagine all the nights you'll spend alone while you dream of home. For three years, you'll be dead to the world. Enjoy the view.
4.
I'm wondering when I keep waking in the same place am I bored or just lonely? And how can I get around the fact that I'm barely making progress, how you're slowly losing interest, how I'm selfish and I hate this? Am I in the right mind to work this out? I can't hang with distance, but it's the only measure that finds me now. I'm so cut off from the world and I'll drag you down with me. And I can barely open up. It always blows up in my face and I keep forgetting that. Or maybe my cynicism keeps me all too aware of what I'm doing wrong. I can't lie. I'll just embrace the facts. The bad habits that I have, the feelings that I trust, they will steer me wrong and it takes too long for me to finally readjust to get back to where I want. Am I better by myself? I can change my ways or I could stay the same with my heart up on the shelf. I put in the time. I'm keeping in mind. I won't lose myself tonight. If I've added up all the times that I thought I had it right, what have I got?
5.
Everything in my life is worn out And I guess it’s way overdue To give me something else to complain about In place of songs that I’d write about you I thought I could keep waiting on old flames to boil my blood But when the heat dies down, I’m left with my doubts and no choice but to bite on my tongue. I move so slow, but of course I do Words get caught in my throat and I start to choke. I’m stuck with no room to grow. I spend my weeks shaking off the dust of the life I’m settling into. All the songs I love about growing up don’t appeal the way that they used to. It should be so easy to disappear. I’m not staying here. I’m not changing. I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere. Don’t try to cover it up. We know ourselves well enough. Don’t try to cover it up. I know myself well enough We try to hold out for more time. We try to cover up the holes that we made in our lives. We’ll never admit when we’re wrong. We try to cover it up with lines from our favorite songs. We try to cover it up with being obsessed with the thought of staying young.

credits

released September 3, 2013

Recorded and mixed in July/August 2013 by Marc Critelli at the Fortress of Solid Dudes in Somerset, New Jersey.
Mastered by Bill Henderson at Azimuth Mastering in November 2013.

On this recording, City Limits was: Mike & Allon & Dave & Richie

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CITY LIMITS New Brunswick, New Jersey

RIP 2012 - 2017

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